This morning I went rummaging through this year’s journal.
OMG
My “word” for 2022 is Fearless. Honestly, I had forgotten that. And the reason for Fearless is that in 2021 I lived with a lot of fear.
Fear that comes from two major surgeries within two months. Pain. Setbacks. Physical Therapy which challenged me daily. The never-ending Pandemic. Not being able to visit my grandchildren for six months. What would happen to the Mornings Apart.
OMG. . . In So Many Ways. Fear . . .In So Many Ways.
Thus, I began this year hopeful. Fearlessly hopeful.
I had a physical therapist whom I also considered my therapist. I knew this was the case when she asked me why I was always chasing that “white rabbit”?
“Why do you think you need to give up the canes right now? Who are you in competition with?”
“Well the internet says that’s where I should be at this point”
“Hmm. Really?”
You see I had to be first – even against myself. That’s what I thought Fearless meant.
No Carol. Fearless means acceptance. Knowing what I can and can’t do. Then letting it go. Trusting God is in the midst. Yes, even in my physical therapy.
Fearless meant giving up the canes when my body told me I was ready. Not the internet.
Onward to adopting our eighteen month old Great Dane, Molly. I am determined to learn how to walk her. Fearless, considering the constant pain in my legs. With the help of a trainer, we do well for the few weeks. Then the “white rabbit” appears.
“Why doesn’t she listen? She should know how to do this by now.”
“Patience,” my trainer repeatedly says to me. “Don’t expect more than Molly can handle.”
No Carol. Fearless means acceptance. Knowing what Molly and I can and can’t do. Then letting it go. Trusting God is in the midst. Yes, even in training Molly.
Fearless means walking to the corner. Then turning the corner and going up the street. Then another corner. I smile. Molly can handle it now. I can handle it now.
I’ve noticed something about God. When I don’t get the message one way, He so easily comes up with another scenario like . . . A physical therapist. A dog trainer.
And even so – undoubtedly the white rabbit will hop into my life again. . .and again. . .and again.
Perhaps accepting that is the nature of being Fearless.
OMG. . .In So Many Ways.
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